i’m just passing through

The news about Sue has forced me to think more about my own mom and how she probably won’t be around very long. And I find myself thinking that Sue won’t even live to be as old as my mom is now. She won’t collect social security. She won’t be at Caroline’s wedding. She won’t be at any of her kids’ wedding. She won’t be at mine. The very last thing that kept me hanging on to Christiaan at the end was his family, where I felt more at home, more accepted, and more loved than I ever had in my own. I had always thought I’d have Sue as an alternative, or as back up.

I don’t know what to do with this, with the way things are.